I read a post by SAMANTHA, talkin' about a whimsical, funky, and undefined dream. It was scary and at the same time very meaningful. It was about love and all the crazy advices anyone can give to a taped, wasted heart. :)

So, I might talk about love today (get yourself ready for the funny and cheesy part). I just realized what love brings to our lives. It's so magical and to-the-umpteenth-level foolish! We all fall for this word, and no matter the too many times we have fallen, we still keep on falling and falling. It's like poison to the lips, but we want to keep drinking. It makes us shatter but we will always mend ourselves to shatter again. It makes us dance to its rhythm and never get tired to its anything-goes beat. Whatever happens we'll always want to be IN LOVE, because despite all the pain and tiresome pages of this adventure, it's like a drug that satisfies our every beating.

Nakakatanga na nga minsan, diba? It's always the battle between the wrong and the right, the real and the fake, the happy and the sad part. We always have to choose, and whatever we choose, we lose. The delightedness is always ephemeral. At a point in time, it always have to end, pero yun na nga, we fall in love more and more. Para tayong mga sadista na natutuwa sa pain at loneliness. Andaming cases ng failed love, pero kahit gaano pa ka-painful at karami na yon, we are still willing to get a dose of it. It's a priceless thing. You won't even care kahit na hindi masuklian yung binigay mo, because you are not buying at all, you just give it. You offer it like a shiny coin to the child beggar. You might (or might not) expect something back, but it doesn't matter as long as you express it. Kahit walang-wala ka na, you will sacrifice everything para lang maiparamdam yung love na yun to this luckiest person.

I'm getting cheesy here, ayoko na! Okay, I'll spill it out. I am going super corny right here because I am loveless today, and that's the piece that's been missing in my life. I have this ultimate crush, but I don't know where to find him! I've got people around me to love, but I just can't find someone for me. I don't want a boyfriend. I don't want commitment. I just want to crush on someone who will also have the tendency to crush on me. That's it. I want a total inspiration, but it looks like it's getting hopeless. Hahaha. Someday is to come, baby.

So, I gotta stop this love thing. I got tired once because of my selflessness. The truth is I've surrendered because it's the right thing. I haven't expressed because I was scared, and I know that it will just make things worse. Nobody knows it but me. I gotta let go because that's what it's supposed to be. I thought it was easy, but I was wrong. It was super-difficult-close-to-impossible thing. I thought it was a piece of cake, but it was a piece of the worst-tasting, seven-layered chocolate cake. Thoughts can kill (Lahat ng akala, nakakamatay.) Hahaha. I'm getting stupid in here.

I went with Moks and Sea this day for a talk and a small get-together, just to update each and everyone. We talked about a lotta stuffs: family matters, future plans, and the highlight of the night, our dysfunctional lovelife. We all suffer the Cold Christmas syndrome. Yeah, too bad for this year, but we thought of the advantages! We get to not think of the best present for our partners, and we get to enjoy the holidays with family and friends, with no jealousy and love quarrels! Isn't it nice being single? :p

The thing is, love goes around the world. It is always in everyone's world. And it comes in different forms, if you don't know. It doesn't only come in the opposite-sex form. It can come in a family member, in a friend, in a pet, or in that Coke float. All we gotta do is appreciate the love we receive and make things matter. Replace it with love and hug each other. Men will be proud of men. Make more love and less war this Christmas! It's the best gift for everyone! ;p ;p

I gotta go.
Naruto is waiting for me.
Stuck in Episode 153.
I need to go Shippuden, so I gotta move fast!

Enjoy the Holidays!
Toodles!

Labels: get-together, life, love, pain

Grabe. Malala. Todas.
I just came home from HELL.
Please. Anybody tell me now that this is HELL WEEK!

Namamaga ako. Seriously. I went to the derma and I wasn't expecting something bloody!!! Garabe. From this moment on, natatakot na kong hawakan yung face ko. Kasi I'm too scared to feel pain from my own fingers. Alam mo yung scared to the fact na baka simpleng haplos lang sa mukha ko, umiyak na ko sa sakit??

So that is what they call 'facial'? Hindi ko nga alam kung simpleng facial ba yung ginawa sakin? Para akong sinurgery. Lol. Am I exaggerating? overacting? o totoong seryoso lang talaga? Isa pa dun, I WASN'T EVEN WARNED! I lie down in that bed without knowing the torture! But now, I am laughing that I handled it. Though, it still hurts when I remember. I want to kick myself up so that the pain will stop. I wish there was anesthesia.

I keep on saying to myself na ganto na ba talaga kalala yung mukha ko at kelangan kong magsurpass ng gantong pain? It's as if there's this demon shouting, "SUFFER CHARMENN. SUFFER. or more likely, DIE CHARMENN. DIE.

I don't want to remember the exact happenings inside that sickly room. The thing was, THAT WAS HELL!!. And then before going away to that place, I am going through some parts every week, and the not-so-bloody part every four weeks. Talk about FEARS, PAIN, and MONEY!! I pity my parents. This should be heavy in their pockets. But they can't do anything. They want me to not be feeling any inferiority complex later in my life.

My dad explained that they are willing to help me amidst the crisis, just to refrain me from any unsuccessful vibes in the future. Well, the thing is, of course if I have an ugly face and not-so-high confident level, I won't be performing nice in the corporate world. If ever I will land in that portion of the world. Or in any aspect, it's a big matter if your problem is your face. So I AM FINE. Through all of that.

Bakit ba kasi ako pinanganak na may curse na ganto e no? I WANNA CURSE THESE PIMPLES. But I am just so lovable, di nila ako maiwan! Lol. I am going crazy despite the tear-jerking ouchness.

I was ashamed kanina. I can't hold back my tears. Ewan ko ba. Nahihiya ako. I felt, ako lang kaya yung ganun? But anyway, maybe Doc himself understood. Dapat lang no! :) I just wish this will result into something nice. I am so tired of all the future complications. This should outcome into something better.

I have been watching The Hills Season 3. I had one episode only since the net buffers soooooo slow. I'll just buy pirated dvds. I still have four days, ayt? And also, I watched an episode of the X Effect in mtv.com, it was funny but it pissed me though. Lol. Check it out yourself.

I hovered into channels and watched an episode from Grey's Anatomy! I had fun. I missed the funny episodes. I miss Dr. Grey, Christina, Burke, McDreamy, O Malley, KAREV!!! Wooot. Hot. And I forgot the name of Heigl in the show. :)

I downloaded new songs, particularly soundtracks from The Hills. They put a lot of incredible songs in that show, so lovely!

I found the new love of my life!!!! I was surfing for a good channel, when I hit Star Movies. I saw a half-naked man! And then I saw the face!! Oh my god pure hotness!!!!!! And then since I don't know his name, I searched it in the net. Unang-una pa lang tama na hula ko! Nagduda lang talaga ako, kasi iba itsura niya dun! It is JOSH HARTNETT!!!!! HE IS DEFINITELY HOT!!!! OMFFFFFFFFFFFFFFGoodness! He must be fake, he looks perfect! I wish he was Edward Cullen in the Twilight movie. The problem, though, is he has a bad boy image. I mean, Edward is pure good! And Hartnett suits bad action movies. But even though, his hotness matches Cullen! AWWWWWW Dead na deads na ko sa unggoy na yon!! POGE POGE POGE! GWAPENG GWAPENG GWAPENG ALERT!! I wish he's mine. Lol.

We'll be going to Manila tomorrow. :) I wanna have a good time. Though, I won't be able to watch Uno in Campus King and Queen [Casual&Sports Wear?] Uno, I'll watch the next time. (:

*Good I-Wish-No-Pain Night. (:

Labels: brave, hot, josh hartnett, pain, pimples, sembreak

Saturday is a hoe. The heat flirts with me like hell. Am I in Sahara?? I totally hate bed-lingering Saturdays in the verge of a heatastrophic afternoon. Anyway, I finished the 'Breaking Dawn'. I was not to the nth satisfied. I wanted more and wanted less at the same time. I don't know, maybe the ending was not bloodtickling enough. Or because of the too-much-ongoing-suspense that I hadn't enjoyed. Or or or, third reason, maybe the temperature was not cooperating at all with my supposed-to-be-enthusiastic-feeling for the book. I even find myself uncomfortable in any position I do.

Bella's life in the Breaking Dawn did not entertain me anymore. Her powers are too exaggerated, maybe it's too much for a suckling. Lol. I kind of hated her in that. I still love Jacob, by the way. I love how Blondie and Mongrel kill each other with their jokes... bad jokes. Lol. Renesmee in my head is cute! The loch ness monster. Edward lost me a bit. I find him predictable these chapters. Anyway, I found cute names. They are vampires from different covens, and I enjoyed knowing their different supernatural powers. Meanwhile, the werewolves were too loyal, they are dogs! I see Karl Kamaganak Serna in Seth. That kid mutt. He is a friendly peep. I wish to read Midnight Sun later or tomorrow or whenever since I find myself locked in the house for the SEMBREAK.

My mom and dad went home last night around 9PM. They have Goldilocks Brownies as pasalubong again. Me and my brothers had enough of that food, we don't look forward into eating it anymore. Lol. They congratulated me with my achievement and they said we'll have a celebration tomorrow! Another Coco Lime bonding maybe. Although I want to eat at Meat Plus! I've been craving for their too-good APPLE PIE! And I've been longing for their Mash Potato, and New York Steak. I miss that place. (: But still, Coco's Chicken Sisig still gave me a bloated tummy tonight. I even screamed for a Strawberry scoop after a mouthful of Sisig. ;p

Anyway, I received an invitation from my cousin's daughter's christening. I was asked to be a godparent! As in! Well, maybe I expected of that since I knew it earlier through the YM. It'll be held this Thursday, October 30, but sadly, I can't attend cause I'll have my trip to my derma. And, my dad is not around. 20 pairs naman yung ninong at ninang! Mapapansin pa ba yung kawalan ko dun? Hahaha.

What's with my sembreak? Eto palang mga plans ko...

October 26 (tomorrow) - Nothing. I'll stay in my house. It's Taperla and Ryan's birthday, though. But they are not holding any celebrations! Sayang.
October 27 - Kalis + SSG meeting in school. We are to talk of the following events to be held in school. For SSG, Halloween Bazaar is coming up, while for Kalis, we'll be having a month of headaches. There is Mr and Ms UN. We'll kill ourselves again. Remind me of getting mg Chemistry notebook, I'll finish my lectures. I don't even consider myself a student these days! For heaven's sake! I feel like I am not learning scientific anymore. Lol.
October 28 - NOTHING YET. I'll still plan of our Investigatory Project meetings. We need it.
October 29 - STILL. NOTHING YET.
October 30 - I'm going to my dermatologist. I hope for a change with my still-ugly face. Whatever. I'm finding improvements naman no!
October 31 - I'll join my dad to a trip to Manila. The reason is nothing. I just want to do something outside our old house. Maybe I'll find something interesting. (: I wish Shim is still in Manila, so that I can rummage around somewhere with someone. Lol.
November 1 - A day in the cemetery. It's the usual. Then six o clock might sound hanging out with the SC people. Ang nakagawian! I miss them.
November 2 - It's cousin Anne's birthday! She is sadly in London. I'll just wish her happiness and everything she wants in this pitiful world. Lol.
November 3 - Sembreak goodbyes!

Then November 5 hits a bang. It's classes once again. And my death is walking around, IT IS KALIS MONTH ALREADY!!

Sobrang hirap ako sa paghinga! Ansaket ng lungs ko! Langya. I don't understand if this is a problem with the medicine I just pushed through my throat, o talagang normal na to? I hate these. Ayaw niya mawala! Don't tell me I am dying!!! No. Hahaha.

I'll be putting the lyrics of Hot N Cold by Katy Perry. I just enjoy it nowadays. (:

HOT N COLD
Katy Perry

You change your mind
Like a girl changes clothes
Yeah, you PMS like a bitch
I would know

Yeah, you always think
Always speak cryptically
I should know
That you're no good for me

'Cause you're hot then you're cold
You're yes then you're no
You're in and you're out
You're up and you're down
You're wrong when it's right
It's black and it's white
We fight, we break up
We kiss, we make up

You, you don't really wanna stay, no
You, but you don't really wanna go, oh

'Cause you're hot then you're cold
You're yes then you're no
You're in and you're out
You're up and you're down

We used to be just like twins, so in sync
The same energy now's a dead battery
Used to laugh 'bout nothing
Now you're plain boring
I should know
That you're not gonna change

'Cause you're hot then you're cold
You're yes then you're no
You're in and you're out
You're up and you're down
You're wrong when it's right
It's black and it's white
We fight, we break up
We kiss, we make up

You, you don't really wanna stay, no
You, but you don't really wanna go, oh

Someone call the doctor
Got a case of a love bipolar
Stuck on a rollercoaster
Can't get off this ride

You change your mind
Like a girl changes clothes

'Cause you're hot then you're cold
You're yes then you're no
You're in and you're out
You're up and you're down
You're wrong when it's right
It's black and it's white
We fight, we break up
We kiss, we make up

You, you don't really wanna stay, no
You, but you don't really wanna go, oh

'Cause you're hot then you're cold
You're yes then you're no
You're in and you're out
You're up and you're down, down, down, down...

Hopefully, mawala na tong mapaklang sakit ng dibdib ko. Pati, yung pawala-walang signal ng Globe, umayos na sana! I can't enjoy my Unlitxt.. Too bad.

*Goodnight. (:

Labels: food, hot, lyrics, pain, sembreak

A more detailed biography here.
Maybe say wad r ur loves? dreams? wishes?