I am actually happy right now, but I don't know till when will this last. I don't know if this is for "ever after". Anyway, is there a happiness for ever after?? Well, don't mistake me for being suicidal just because I'm getting emotional out here. I just don't get the times when personal problems hit me like crap. You want to know what I want? I want to find someone that can answer my prayers. I don't need a genius or a superman. I just need somebody to care for me. I don't understand why sometimes I find it unfair that I care for my friends a lot but I can't get someone to care for me like I care for others. Random stuffs get in my head, asking myself of what is with me that makes me hard to love? I don't know why I am being a sweet potato out here! All I know is that I am cold of the fickle weather! WATTT A SHIT OF ALL THIS CARING STUFF! ;p I am not mad. I AM JUST SLEEPY. Just to clear things out, this does not prove that I am an emo kid. ;p

So... I am really close to dozzzzzzzzing my ass off here, but I find this time the perfect time to tell of my today's happy stories. I do believe in lucky charms and stuffs and I do notice if something that I wear today brings me luck or not! And I just realized something.. I have these 'playing-card-shaped//looking' earrings, one with the hearts, and another (not a card shape) a spade! Whenever I wear the one with the hearts, I get to be happy with my bunch 'o friends! As in super EXTRALICIIOUS bonding! But whenever I wear this spade one, I get lucky in my career. Technically, it brings me good luck in my writing and makes me gain a lot of winnings! So since tomorrow will be my Journalism training in Tapinac Elem, might as well wear my spade earrings para naman hindi ako mapahiya! I have to write something good lalo na the expectations are a bit hanging in a high elevation!

To start the day off, I rode my drifting school bus to school, SAFELY. As usual, maagang pumalaot service ko. 6:45AM, I am already in school, at ang dadatnan ko lang sa room e madalas si Kring, Karren, at Pat lang. This day, I saw Kring and Karren sleeping in their tables again. Same scene as always. Si Pat wala kasi nalate nanaman ng gising. These days, I notice that her waking routines are getting late. Nakalock pa yung room, pero ang dalawang babes nasa loob na ng room. Same old, bukas ang bintana, nang-akyat nanaman sila ng glass window! Hahaha. Tinatamad ako na gawin yung ginawa nila, at wala din naman akong gagawin sa loob, so I stayed outside. I sat on the yellow rusty bench, and thought of how it looked like years ago. Kung ganun pa din ba siya kayellow. At anong itsura niya nung hindi pa siya kinakalawang. I don't have anyone to talk to kaya pinanood ko yung mga freshmen na naglalaro, MALIBAN SA PAGKAUSAP SA AKING SARILI. Lol. I watched these students strut themselves in the vball court. Since the moment I woke up, I craved for a volleyball play! Gusto kong iexercise ang aking body, PROMISE! Kelangan ko talaga ng matinding galaw-galaw at pagbanat ng buto! Good thing, there is nothing to do today. :) So we have more time to play catch, dig, ang spike! OOHYEAH. :p

Napansin ko na lang, parang 30mins na ko nakaupo dun sa yellow bench, wala pa ring seniors! The catch is, some of the seniors are on the CLSU contest. It's an IP thing. Others who are not here are on the Journalism Training. Yeah, too bad for me, wala akong kasamang Senior bukas! But at least, I get a chance to play V. :) At kulang na kulang pa din kami, because marami din ang hindi na pumasok dahil alam nilang wala namang gagawin. Haha. Well, WALA NAMAN TALAGANG GAGAWIN! GINAGAWA! AT GINAWA! Lol. :)

Time passed by so fast. Nakapaglaro ako ng Volley! Yeah, a lot of times! Grabe yung pagkamiss ko sa super sport na to! Super love ko talaga! :) Naputol nga lang because of the PE time of the freshmen, na volleyball din, at ang aming PT-GOLD joint class in Eco. We learned about computing tax incomes. Nalaman din namin kung gano kalaki ang kinukupit ng gobyerno sa mga tao. Kung gano kalaki, di ko maisip na ganun din kalugmok ang Pilipinas. Hahaha. Atleast I had fun. After tax, another tax, and more taxes, di na ko nakaalis sa kinauupuan ko, kasi gumana nanaman ang machichika naming bibig ni Betina. Hahaha. We talked about a lot again. Nang dumating si Juju, at bumanat ako ng bumanat. Napatahimik si Bets. Hahaha. Lumiko-liko yung topic na halos kung ano-ano na napagusapan.

I finished lunch with Betina wanting to eat lunch too. I am done with my Beef Kaldereta when she started on her Burger Steak. Pasaway na bata talaga! I was forcing her to eat with me, para di naman ako malungkot, sabi niya hindi daw talaga sia nagugutom. Pero ayun, nainggit sa kinakain ko, nagpahatid kay Ate Athen ng food. Haha. After eating, we went to the court and saw EJ and Val. We saw a basketball and started to play Miracle. First, it was just a silly game, hanggang sa nagkaron ng bets! We betted that whoever loses, will be a slave of the winner for two hours! Hahaha. Three of us played. Betina, me, and EJ. Good thing!!!! I was in the middle, and Betina gets to take the bad luck for the day. Lol.

We made fun of her being a slave. Amiel kept on saying, "akalain mong yung prinsesa, e alipin ngayon". Hahaha. We then went back to Gold, and I slept.... I was soooo sleepy. Julian slept with his pillow! Val slept without a pillow but lying. I slept without a pillow, and sitting! But still, as long as I have music, it's fine with me.
After waking up of that bone-in-the-shoulder-breaking sleep, I proceeded to the V-court and found myself screaming and enjoying the play of TROPA vs DBS BOYS. Hahaha. The street team versus the official team. We are all screaming our asses off! It was a super exciting game. Yung bola talaga tumatagal ng mga 30 minutes sa ere. Hahaha. Kidding! Exagg naman! Mga 5mins. MAMA E is super taray pagdating sa service! He even did a split just to save the ball! SOOPER NICE. And it ended with the TROPA TEAM winning the game! :)

Going home, I made a choice to commute again. We went to eat at Mcdo and talk about different stuffs. Love and teasing are the best topics! OMG. Hahaha. Gumawa din kami ng pakana para mapag-usap si Omar and Joan. They did, by the way! But it ended super sad. Pero, that's how life is supposed to be. How can we not be used to it?? We walked till Rotonda.... repeating yesterday's routines. It was fun with EJ and Val around. We got more things to talk about. We realized that it's so fun walking in the middle of the night. :)

We will repeat it!

Now, I am too sleepy.... I can't take it anymore. I'll be waking up early kasi. :)
My one-week off is coming to town, so I might as well take this time to SULIT!
SULITPOST for FREE! ;p

Goodluck for me tomorrow. :)
TOODLES!

Labels: FUN, journalism, life, school, seniors, volleyball

If tears are considered mass to be gained or lost, I should be thin by now! I lost buckets and buckets of tears in our SUPER TERIBLE RETREAT! And other than that, I learned a lot of things. I appreciated a lot of stuffs. I will continue to learn, continue to appreciate, and continue to cherish the left time for us Seniors! :)

December 2 and 3. Who would've thought that these two dates will change our maturities... will wake us from the bitter truths of life... will let us experience the sweetest things with God and friends. The two-day spiritual retreat helped us discover each others' inner self.

We learned about affirmation and rejection. Two opposite things na sobrang nakakaapekto sa buhay ng tao. The first one is a positive thing, like praises and recognition of your presence and existence. It's a happy thing kasi you know that you are not a nobody infront of your friends and family, because they love you! The second awful bitch, rejection, is an eternal enemy. Nobody wants to be rejected. And according to one of our retreat masters, Kuya Rannie, no one has the right to reject us. We are entities to be respected and this nega-thing, it should not let it eat us. That's why God is here to protect us from all the hurt. We just have to hold on. :)

Kuya Rannie, Kuya Zolstie and Kuya Gerald are the facilitators of our event. They are so fun to be with, they really woke our senses up. My favorite parts of the retreat are the: CIRCLE OF LOVE, TALKING TO GOD and HUGGING FRIENDS.

The Circle of Love taught us to release the pain and all our bad feelings through sharing our weaknesses to the people in the circle. Meanwhile, our appreciation is highlighted in the part where we are affirmed by each and every one in the circle. It is such a delightful thing to be affirmed. Ang sarap pakinggan na minamahal ka ng mga tao with this super-gandang trait na meron ka. Ma-aappreciate mo talaga yung existence mo, once nagsalita na yung mga mahahalagang tao sa buhay mo. Sayang lang kasi we haven't finished the activity. Inabot na kami ng 1 or 2 because of that. Take note: in the morning. Medyo nainip na daw mga teachers namin kaya kailangan na naming tapusin. It feels wrong kasi this is a time to release all the tension, and the reveal your true self, pero parang pinagkait samin ng time. Pero okay pa din. :) Iyakan blues: step 1.

Talking to God is such a super experience! We are all asked to put blindfold hankies in our eyes and we will have a fantasy watchamacallit. Lol. You will imagine this certain scene through certain instructions. I get to talk to God. About the sacrifices of my parents, I know that they give almost everything for us to have a good life, and I don't want to waste all of their hardships. Narealize ko na masyado ako minsan in wanting things, and talking them out of buying it for me. Minsan pala hindi ko napapansin na nahihirapan na sila sa important needs namin, andame ko pang hinahanap. Parang dapat makuntento ako sa kung anong meron ako. And also, I learned of my friends' problems in their families. Sobrang iyakan dito kasi naging sentimental yung mga Terible sa kanilang relationship with their families. Anghirap isipin na yung mga smiling faces na yon e dumadanas pala ng super heavy problem sa loob nila. Mas lalo naming minahal ang isa't-isa. :)

And the best of everything in the retreat... hugging friends... Ano to, goodbye na ba??? It's so hard to think na magseseparate ways na kami. Ansaket. For the four years of bonding, it seems that it's too soon to be moving on. Parang ambilis ng lahat! Wala namang kalimutan... I just realized that these people infront of me are not ordinary people. Sila ang isang part ng buhay ko kung san sila na ang nagpapatakbo nito. If it weren't for them I will not be super complete like I feel today. Sila ang isa sa pinakamagandang blessing na natanggap ko sa life na to. I will not forget those faces... pati lahat ng pagpapasaya! Hinding-hindi ko makakalimutan..

--

Pagdating naman sa place na tinuluyan namin, the ever-beautiful Highlands of Iba, Zambales. Hindi naman kami binigo! Everything went perfect, as it is.

There are two rooms: one for the girls, and the other for the boys. We had triple-deck beds! Super cool! At well-ventilated yung room, hindi ko man lamang naramdaman ang tutok ng araw. The CR is super clean at talagang angganda-ganda! We, girls, enjoyed the mirrors! It made us look white. Ayaw na nga namin umalis sa harap nun e. Haha. A lot of us took a bath at 1 in the morning, pero hindi ako kasama dun. Shinare ko lang kasi napagalitan kami ni Ma'am Sidon. Hahaha. Anlalandi daw namin. Dahil sa walang magawa nung gabing yon, tumakas nanaman kami kay Maam. Lumabas-labas at naghanap ng shooting star. Ang sad para sakin, hindi man lang ako nakakita ng isa! Samantalang yung iba, apat-apat pa yung nakita!

Sa food naman, sobrang nakakabusog! Grabe. Balanced diet talaga. Hindi talaga kami nabigo sa dami ng pinakain samin. Everything tasted good, better, best. Walang not-good food talaga. We even thought na hindi kaya nalugi sila sa mga binayad namin? Hahaha.

The whole place was super clean at mababait naman ang mga tao! Hanna saw and noticed that an American manages the people. So that's why the place is clean daw! Haha. Kasabay namin yung Columban College sa retreat. Sayang. Sana nasolo namin. Pero okay lang naman since minsan lang kami magkadaupangan ng landas! Wow. SUPER FILIPINO NOSEBLEED. Hahaha.

I got no sleep. As in, an hour? Or forty-five minutes?? Tas binulaga ng sobrang lamig na tubig from the shower! Naku, ano kayang napala ko?? Hahaha. Kaya tuloy nung patapos na yung mga sessions, talagang antukan na kami. Everytime na may pinapaimagine, tinatake advantage na namin na matulog. Hahaha. Angkulit!

Again... the experience was the best! The people... everything! Hindi ko to makakalimutan!


Now, my mind is currently offset to sleeping mode kaso marami pa akong gagawin. Tomorrow, our training continues. Yeah, the Journalism training. Medyo nahihirapan ako ngayon kasi hindi talaga gumagana yung utak ko, gustong-gusto na niyang lumanding sa kama, kaya pagkatapos nito, balak ko nang pumuntang Dreamland. :)

Sige. I shall go now! TOODLES! :)

Labels: happy, life, retreat, seniors, tears

I am just four hours away from our trip to the Highlands for our spiritual retreat. I already packed my bags -- sorry, bag. It's just one night! How many pair of clothes am I supposed to bring? :) Everyone's bugged out lately. Some will prepare his things just now. Some aren't even allowed yet -- Tiny's fingers are still crossed. Some are already taking a bath, or more, eating for an early lunch. A lot have been remarking that the spirit of the retreat went out in a spur. We didn't even feel that it's already breezing upon us.

By the way, I would like to greet my Grandma dear a happy happy birthday! May you have longer years to live by. :) It's a feast in here! But sadly, I won't be able to watch every minute of the 'handaan' since I'll be going around one. :)

in a text message..

Karren (Puto Pao): Ilang scarf dadalhin?
Tsaa (Siopao): Ewan. May sinabi ba si Ma'am na ganon?
K: Oo e.

due to that, I texted Mam Daduya to ask for that itsy bitsy little stuff. And she replied..

Mam: Kahit isa lang dalawa ok din kc baka cry kau dun

Hahaha. So the scarf was for that!

Puto Pao: Para doon lang pala yon??
Siopao: Oo! Hahaha. Ano bang akala mo? Magbibigtian tayo?? Magdala nlang ng tissue box! :))

Lol. Then nag-GM si Cess.. at nagsunod-sunod na mga reaction nila.

Cess (Puchi-puchi): Cha and Karren, kumot na lang ang dalhin para mas malaki.
Puto Pao: Si Tape daw kurtina ang dadalhin!
Siopao: Dalhin nyo na kya yung buong labada nyo! Dahil dyan sa "bka cry kayo dun" na yan! Hahaha.
Thea: Dapat comforter para mas makapal! :)
Gorgeous Val: Sakin plastic. Iipunin ko luha ko!

Then Ian asked if we have to bring a pillow.

Siopao: Sinong sasali? Bigtian mamayang gabi?
Si Ian magdadala ng unan, papatay yan mamayang gabi!
Puto Pao: Talo tayo kay Tape! Kurtina ba naman e!

What a nonsense conversation. Hahaha. :) Naloloka na kami with the thought na retreat na mamaya. At oo, nagrerelax lang talaga ako dito. :)

That's all for today! Goodluck samen, and hope we'll have fun!

Labels: laugh, retreat, seniors

I woke up at six, and felt the cold december air. It felt so good, I went back dozing my ass off again. :) And so, I woke up at 10. WTTHE. Am I that sleepy? Did I need that long sleep? Siguro kung hindi ako natulog uli, inaantok ako ngayon. So okay na din. Lol. Someone texted, saying that it's Holy Guacamole December once again! Nun ko lang narealize na, oh no, it is really december hugging my thighs and everything.

By the way, I shifted to this simple-looking layout because I think it defines me. It's colors are girly, but I love it over-all! :)

So... What am I gonna talk about? I got two stories to tell. One is my fantasy of my ever-good looking crush. :) Another is my addiction to House. And one more thing, so it's three pala. My high school story and this boredom that keep me tucked in. Meron pa pala! O four na. Yung RS Musical. :)

One - CRUSH!!!!!

Yesterday is Sunday, right? So since it was a weekly ritual to visit God every Sunday, we went to church. But this Sunday was a different Sunday. :) Usually, we go to St. Joseph for the mass. The whole family attends the 6 PM mass. If you remember, this is the time slot where I get to see my past crush altar boy. But seriously now, I don't find him cute anymore. HAHAHA. So proceeding to my story, even though we are living beside the church, we still find ourselves rushing. Oo. Lagi padin kaming late. HAHAHA. Since I just finished taking a bath and I am still preparing myself,, and my brothers also, my mom and dad went to church first. We always stay in this one place, so we know where to proceed. But then, when we finished fixing ourselves, my dad came back saying that we shall go to Columban na lang. The reason? He saw his bestfrenemy. Was he that mad that we need to adjust for this enemy?? Maybe, he is thinking that he can't concentrate with this man in diameter. I was just shocked of this 'too much staying away'. But I thought, so what, if we're going to Columban??

We then went to the second choice church and marched off. We chose a place outside, since the pews are all occupied and.. and it's cold outside. :) Bearable than inside. I was concentrating myself when suddenly, a car unloaded its passengers just beside me. I looked around, because if any car will do that, that will be my first reaction. And I notice everything as always, and I am not busy with anything, so I glanced back. When I saw who came down the car, it was my ultimate crush!!!!!! Oo! Ultimate to the level na matagal ko na siyang hinahanap. Di ko alam bat di ko na siya nakikita. Pero sobrang napangiti ako nung nakita ko siya! He's with the whole family. :)

He changed a lot, pare! Tumaba siya! But I don't know if that's fat or muscle, basta his body suited his face. :) His face is so white and looks so smooth. Super gwapeeng talaga. He is wearing this green striped sweater, parang Nate ba! Tumangkad din siya! Grabe. His fashion sense changed. Dati super gangster yon e. Ewan ko kung anong nangyare ngayon! Para siyang model. Oh God. Nag-thank you ako kagad kay God. Hahaha. And.. I really felt pink swirls rounding my cheeks. Bigla akong lumipat ng pwesto, kasi uncomfortable na sobrang lapit lang niya sakin. Baka mapatingin ako ng mapatingin, maweirdohan saken! HAHAHA. So I went beside my brother. Lumipat ako sa kabila, pero in that exact place, natatanaw ko pa din siya from the window. TAE! Parang love at first sight na ewan! Hahaha.

Kabatch ko lang tong guy na to e! I had a crush on him since the day I saw him when we were just kindergarten students. He studied in my brother's school and I went into a different school. Up to nung nakita ko siya nung third year, krush ko pa din siya e. But sadly nung time na yon, he has his beautiful girlfriend. Nalungkot talaga ako. HAHAHA. Now, I saw him texting when the mass is currently going on, so I thought, he might still have a girlfriend. It's so sad...

Yun. The mass ended. I glance at him every three minutes. Hahaha. I am satisfied with that. Sobrang saya ko na na nakita ko siya nung gabing yon! Some part of my body told me that I want a boyfriend. :p I WANT HIM.

SANA MAKITA KO SIYA ULE!!!! :ppp Nakikiusap ulit ako kay destiny!

JASPER, baby! Hopefully, no one who is connected to him ang makabasa nito. ;p

Two - House!!!!!

In this long vacation of mine, I always take a dose of House. Yeah. The sitcom with the silly doctor. He looks so funny. I realized that he looks exactly like Bart Simpson! HAHAHAHA. It's so crookedly funny!!! House is a sarcastic doctor, who loves teasing and irritating people with his irritating attitude. He is a miserable cripple, and he is a drug addict. Addicted to Vicodin, his painkillers for his leg. He is still a good man. And even though, he hates everybody, and vice versa, he is still the greatest diagnostician, so they still cherish his existence. ü I love Dr. Chase, his accent, his nice hair, and his good looks! Dr. Cameron, on the other hand, finds admiration for Dr. House. She's a smart, sexy doctor! And Dr. Foreman, the black funny doctor! They are all matched for the series. I always laugh when I'm watching. I am now in Season 2! Yehey. :) I'll watch later.

Three - My High School and Boredom Story

So... I'm calling out all the seniors. AREN'T YOU EXCITED? THRILLED? RETREAT STARTS TOMORROW. I don't know if I should be sad or jumping with glee! This is one celebration for the Senior checklist, that earns a check this Wednesday. I think I should feel both. Sad, because, it's a sad thing! We'll be crying our asses out. Thinking of all the memories we've shared... Thinking that we are close to leaving. I can't imagine all of us going separate ways, but I think it's time. Jumping with glee, because it's a bonding moment for all of us!!! :) I might as well think of the two as good things. I realized that this life really worked out for me. I am so happy. I am so thankful for all the friends I have known in this life. I love them. :)

We are having this long vacation, since today is a holiday and the two days after this day is our retreat. I don't even know what holiday am I celebrating. Um. Is it sitting-all-day holiday? Hahaha. Well. I have been strutting myself into this seat for almost the whole day! Nyahaha. I am even starving myself, because the mirror is just beside me. I always see how fat I am turning every crouch and crunch, and every minute I remain in this swivelchair. Hahaha.

Tomorrow is my grandma's birthday! Many people are sure to come! She is having her celebration with a lot of food! Oh no. :) Since the 'handaan' is at lunch time, and since I am going to the retreat at one pm, maabutan ko pa ang masarap na kainan! YEHEY. :)

*I should be buying foodums today. For tomorrow's cracklings and dut duts. ;)

Four - RS MUSICAL!!!!

Yeah. Our school will be preparing for the RS MUSICAL: SENIOR YEAR! Every senior will take part in the play! Yeah. We are the stars! We are all so excited! We hope everyone supports our show! But before that, every senior shall release that inner confidence in him. If we want something successful, no shy guy shall hinder the plans! Talagang todo bigay lahat kung gusto diba! Walang hiya-hiya! Goodluck naman sakin! Hahaha. The casting crew already have the list.. And the script was already made. Kulang na lang talaga yung starting day of preparation, at ang readiness ng lahat! Hahaha.

I will play Sharpey for the 'I Want It All' song with Ryan. OMG. It's a bit long. I hope I can do it! Hahahaha. Goodluck to everyone! This is something we leave to the alma mater. :)

May God help us out! MWAAA Seniors.

Goodbye for one day!
TOODLES!

Labels: boredom, crush, happy, hot, House, life, school, seniors, vacation

A more detailed biography here.
Maybe say wad r ur loves? dreams? wishes?