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stories biography escapes archives


Overview


I just changed the spelling of my name from CHARMAINE to CHARMAIGNE. I don't know, I must have enjoyed it with a G. It will really look more classy, if it would have been like that. Well, I thought of making it CHARMOEN (to look German). I am a proud Filipino, yet I get to be a critique when it comes to names. Since you'll stick with it forever why not change it into the way you like it, right? I've always wanted to add Maria infront of it, to look old-Pinoy-fashioned, and because I am jealous that most of my friends got two first names unlike me who got a simple English name, Charmaine. My last name is purely Filipino that is DIMACULANGAN. In the Philippines it means "enough" or more close to its articulation "not less". I was always teased when I am in grade school, but then I learn that people mature and get on with their life without getting to find my last name funny. I am turning sixteen on March, getting to know COLLEGE more, so I expect people to be mature than they are supposed to be. CHARMAINE means a beautiful orchard. I am definitely not an orchard, so I'll agree with being beautiful. ;p It also means "to sing", which is quite oppressive and pressure-giving since I don't got a voice the name CHARMAINE should be having. I just love to sing karaoke songs! It also means "to be a rich and successful lady", that is, I just made it up. But I know it'll come true. ;p All in all, I am enjoying my almost-sixteen years of existence, I don't want to finish it off with stupid things and beliefs. I have always wanted to enjoy life, and that's what I'm doing. I walk in the street certain of tripping myself with the pavement or just with my own foot, and I am proud of it. I will see pretty girls walking with me in the same sidewalk, but I will not develop the stimulus called INSECURITY. I will cherish my supercalifragilistic moments, and I will absolutely share it to people like you. :)

Screams
Monday, November 10, 2008

I had this ultimate feeling, na sobrang ages ago ko pa ata huling naramdaman. So, let me share to you my own Nicholas Sparks version love story. Haha. Crush story lang ata tawag dito.

So, every Sunday kasi I go to church. Exactly, every 6.15 PM ung start ng mass. Sa St. Jo kasi ako nagchuchurch. E there are two sides of the church, the left and the right. We always stay and not sit -- so we stand in the right side. The altarboys are in the left side facing the churchgoers. So since, they are facing half-right, sakto sakin yung mga mukha nilang mga SAKRISTAN! :DD

There was this boy na narealize kong cute pala. Matagal nadevelop tong cuteness pansin na to. Hindi lang isang Sunday. Mga 2 sundays bago ko narealize na cute siya. After two more Sundays, I always find him in that same spot.... and yun, it always happen na pinagmamasdan ko siya. TAE. Since it was a bit far to be sure, nakatingin ako lagi sa kanya pero hindi ko alam kung nakatingin siya sakin. Maybe normal looks lang, kasi wala siyang magagawa. He is close to God so close din sa kanya yung tinitignan ko. Walang ibang mapansin at makita, so I realize na I always look at him. MALARET. :p

After 2 more Sundays, siya na lang talaga yung napapansin ko sa altar. Other than the priest when he's having a sermon, and my personal talk with God. Pero other than the two, siya na lang talaga. TAE. Hanggang sa napapansin ko na pati yung, siya ung nagriring ng bells pag naka-kneel down lahat. Ewan ko ba. It seemed automatic.

And then, when it's communion time, it's him with the priest I fall in line to. So lagi ko siyang nakakalapit. Whatdahek. Pinag-aralan ko na mga features niya. I studied his eyes. Malamlam. Not really, but his eyes are expressive at napaka-quiet looking. ANG PEACEFUL NG MATA NIYA. Matangos yung ilong niya. Tapos ung lips niya, thin. Perfect lang. HAHAHA. Natatawa ako sa sarili ko. How would I know if ones lips are perfect? OH GOD, THIS IS SOMETHING. Lol.

I observed his whole face, he seem to be really quiet. Mukha talaga siyang tahimik at mukhang devoted sa ginagawa nia. Pero how would I know, I just experiment these hypotheses by just cursory glances. At isa pa, hindi siya mukang sakristan na napilitan lang maging altarboy dahil gusto ng nanay niya. Again, I don't know anything. Everything is just my observation of his face and body language. Hahaha.

Napakagaling ko sa bagay na to. Studying faces and everything. I should get a course related to this. Lol. AYUN. I realized that he's not too tall. Maybe, he's taller than me or not. He is not malaman. Thin. Um. Normal thin. :D Tapos yung complexion niya parang pale but not too pale. Basta hindi siya maitim! Tapos, under his eyes are purple circles. Not exactly purple. Nakuha ko lang ung adjective kay Stephanie Meyer. Hahaha. Bsta halata ung circles under his eyes. Habang dinedescribe ko tong crush ko kina Hanna, they told me na, so he's your Edward??

I laughed. Nun ko lang narealize na pwede, pwede!!! And then, another Sunday, I realized may kahawig siya sa school! Pero sobrang pogi niya pa din kumpara sa kahawig niyang yon. :DD

---

Today, I rode the schoolbus from school. It was as dark as the dark knight. What is this humor I have! Hahaha. I came home 6:15 and the exact step of my foot on the ground from the bus, I noticed this guy who walked across the driveway of our house. Since, katabi lang namin ang St. Joseph Church, sigurado na kong tiga St. Jo siya, and I noticed the khaki pants. Tinignan ko kagad yung face... Guess what I noticed...


HE'S "MY" ALTARBOY. :DDDDDDD

Yun nga lang..... A big sigh.. I am not sure kung siya talaga si altarboy ko... E kasi sobrang saglit ko lang nakita. Pero totally, kamukha talaga nia. Hindi ko alam kung siya ba talaga yon, o the whole day or these days, siya lang talaga yung iniisip ko!!! I went to our gate, knocked one time and went back into the street to check kung makikita ko padin siya kahit sobrang layo na!!! HINDI KO SIYA NAKITA! Napansin ko. Ambilis naman niya!!! There are only three reasons. It's either ambilis niya maglakad, ambagal ko, or nakatira siya somewhere sa mga apartments beside us. Oh God!!! HOW I WISH. This feeling is so different. Ngayon ko lang naexperience tong kind of excitement and hysteria from someone I barely know! TAE TALAGA.

Eto pa ang mabigat. While I was waiting for someone to open the green gate for me, I am imagining him coming back.... and I would be saying HI. And then I made a promise to myself. :D The next time I see him, I will acquire a large amount of confidence!!! And I will say HI. Or even, I will ask him to be friends with me...

THIS IS SO MUCH DIFFERENT. THIS IS CRAZY.

A different crazy kinda crush. I created an SMS group message and Pot and Puto Pao said that this is OBSESSION. But I said NO. Maybe I am just finding someone that would make me happy. And right now, he is the one giving me all that joy and inspiration. Who knows, we might be for each other!!! WAAAAH. TOTAL CRAZINESS!!!! :DDD

I want to see him again. :D Maybe later, in my dreams.
Angchaka!
I can't wait for Sunday.


NEXT AGENDA: I WANT TO SEE HIM SMILE. :DDDD

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